10 Quick Tips To Beating ROCD

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The video below are 10 quick tips to kick relationship OCD (ROCD) to the curb.


  1. OCD is the problem – Know that OCD is the issue and not the relationship.
  2. Remove anxiety – by accepting it.
  3. Break the OCD cycle – accept the thoughts.
  4. Exaggerate the thoughts – scare your brain by agreeing and exaggerating your thoughts.
  5. The one – Is there such a thing? Love is not an emotion it is action.
  6. Stop comparing – Be present with your partner.
  7. Things don’t quite feel right – Use this as a guidance out of OCD.
  8. Stop reassurance checking – Sit with the anxiety, don’t relieve it by reassurance checking.
  9. Act in spite of – When you are scared to say I love you and hug, that’s when you need to do it. Show your brain it has nothing to be afraid of.
  10. Change your focus – Get a project, or something that interests you. Show your brain what it needs to focus on.

I hope these tips help you reclaim your relationship.

Let me know if they help?!



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13 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “10 Quick Tips To Beating ROCD”

  1. Stephanie November 18, 2015 at 12:12 am

    Thank you so much for this. I’ve been struggling with OCD for most of my adult life, but just recently realized it when I became extremely anxious with my current boyfriend. I had been seeing a therapist for anxiety and just found out last week that rOCD was a part of OCD, taking the blind off. I thank you for putting this together.

    I constantly struggling with my feelings toward my partner, almost viewing his as an enemy and considering that I don’t love him the way he loves me.

    Any other tips you can share would be amazing!


    • Stuart November 21, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      Hi Stephanie,

      Thanks for your kind words.

      Yep ROCD is a real challenge. It is beatable however! The book on relationshipocd.com is a very good starting point. Let me know how it goes.


  2. Diana January 5, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Hi. I have discovered your podcast and now this website while trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I am struggling lately and don’t know what to do. I have struggled with anxiety and neediness but the past month it all turned on to my relationship with this wonderful man (“or is he really wonderful!?! -my thoughts now) I have moments of pure panic and don’t know what to do anymore, I feel I should break up , that I don’t love him or not sure.. but don’t want to breakup… don’t know why I feel this. I google answers and it’s other move on Or it’s OCD. It’s too much to write in a comment what is in my head.

    My question is: I .. as far as I know don’t have OCD. So can I have ROCD? Cause symptoms are pretty close. I just want the love I felt in the first 3 years back :(. I still feel it some days. But the fear and the negative is draining me. I just want to disappear

    • Stuart July 13, 2017 at 12:28 pm

      Hi Diana,

      Sorry for my delayed response. I hope you are doing better.

      rOCD is OCD. OCD is OCD, the themes are irrelevant. The themes are just the topics that OCD uses to scare you.

      Therapy will help greatly. Try to find a therapist that treats OCD using ERP. Also check out books on OCD recovery – knowledge is power.

      All the best Stu

  3. Bree February 21, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Thank you for this post. All this started with ptsd, then gad and now ocd with locks and rocd. I met my partner 15 years ago and would never know we would meet again and become married. She fills my gaps and is my peace.. So I could never understand how my mind could tell me it’s over, or how I could pick out features that I love and consider them flaws, Ivan hyper aware, so I take every instance as a sign from the universe that we should divorce. I never heard of rocd until happening upon your YouTube page. This has been a great help. Thank you. ( sorry for the long post)

    • Stuart July 13, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      Hi Bree,

      Sorry for my delayed response. I hope you are doing better.

      Therapy will help greatly. Try to find a therapist that treats OCD using ERP. Also check out books on OCD recovery – knowledge is power.

      All the best Stu

  4. Anine March 27, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    Hi Stuart, can rocd be accompanied by numbness ? Sometimes I just feel numb. Can you explain this ?

    • Stuart July 13, 2017 at 12:04 pm

      Hi Annie,

      Yup it can. You treat it the same way you treat OCD. ERP therapy will help.

  5. Kyle September 10, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    I’ve been friends with my current girlfriend for almost a year (December) and we’ve started dating this summer, my birthday weekend to be exact. I know I love her but after only three months of dating it’s almost like the anxiety started and OCD showed up. I’ve never been diagnosed but as I google the things I’ve been feeling it all lines up with several different themes of OCD, rOCD being one of them. I love my girlfriend and want to marry her however, in the recent months I’ve begin to almost feel like everything she says is a lie and I constantly seek reassurance from my close friends and family. It doesn’t help that her close friends don’t really care for me. Nonetheless I really want this to work but I don’t want to loose her or this relationship because of OCD. The thought of that makes me feel sad and depressed. I’d like to know what to do because I love her and want our relationship to work.

    • Stuart September 12, 2017 at 12:17 pm

      Hi Kyle,

      Sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment, it will get better, with positive recovery focused action.

      My best advice is go see your doctor, or a CBT therapist who specialises in OCD. They can help you overcome this and get past these pesky thoughts and feelings. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a focus on Exposure and Response Prevention therapy has been clinically proven to help more than anything else. If your doctor advises, medication can help with the thoughts too.


      There is a good support group on Facebook called ROCD relationship – https://www.facebook.com/groups/relationshiprocd/ there are 100’s of people experiencing the same thoughts and feelings as you. Join the group, as there are many that can support you.

      Above all go see your doctor or a therapist. They will help you through this ☺

      All the best,


  6. Brooke October 14, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    Thank you, I’ve been suffering with this for about 6-7 months now. I get these feelings in my gut sometimes but i know that feelings like that don’t mean anything. But when i think about telling my partner i love him or being intimate, future life goals, etc. I get really anxious, so it makes me think i don’t love him. Even typing that gives me anxiety. But I do know these aren’t my true feelings for him, as it is repetitive and intrusive, and sometimes torturous to the point of suicidal thoughts.

    • Stuart October 18, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      Hi Brooke,

      What you are going through is experienced by thousands of others so you are not alone.

      My best advice is go speak to your doctor or a CBT therapist.

      They will be able to help you through this.


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