X

Archive for Thoughts

What’s In Your Heart Right Now? Do That

Yo,

For the last few years I've racked my brain trying to find out my ultimate purpose, or raison d'etre. I've been very close to it for a couple years, however I could never feel certain about exactly why I did what I did. If you are searching for your purpose this article is for you.

Before I get into the bulk of my point I want to offer you two great ways of finding your purpose below:

Tai Lopez - Orwellian Destiny: https://youtu.be/xQeA_v7ohy8?t=4m58s I couldn't actually find Tai talking about it. But here is a guy who interviewed Tai talking about it. Great exercise.

Tony Robbins - Has some questions for you: https://youtu.be/5obQyEh4W-M?t=49m27s

Ok, so when you have time, do the above two exercises. They should help greatly. In the mean time I want to offer some advice you can immediately sink your teeth into.

When I was torturing my brain, hoping that my "why" would slap me round the face, I was in turmoil. I was going over the same evidence. The same stimuli day to day. Guess what. My why never came up with it. You may have found this.

My challenge to you is: What is in your heart right now?

The Tao, meaning the way. Is a concept of flow. That the world or universe has a flow/energy. I was fighting this flow for many years. As most Taoists know you can't fight the Tao. Which is what you are doing by constantly thinking about your why. So when I asked you what is in your heart right now? I truly want to know. Whether what is in your heart right now is your ultimate "why" or not. It doesn't matter. What matters is you get in alignment with your Tao. You live according to your flow. Over time you will see patterns in what was in your heart each day. Then you will have some real data based on your daily inspiration. You can analyse that data and start to figure out your "why".

[youtube]https://youtu.be/OnK8SgrCdLM[/youtube]

What ever is in your heart right now. *Go do it. Go share it. Go be it.

Let me know in the comments below.

To your success,

Stu

*Unless you want to kill people. Please don't do that.

You’re not X. You Are Human!

I will start with the end – YOU ARE HUMAN.

I was having a passionate chat with my friend today. To give background he is British and of African ancestry (Nigerian). He’s very loving of equal rights, and rightly so. He can be more Malcolm X than MLK. Which has resulted in us clashing at times. I’m not going to even say that African decedents in America and around the world really have equal rights. Yes in a legal sense but they do seem to get picked on in the US, prison stats would re-enforce this. Some residual hatred and stereotyping remains from the times of slavery. This needs to be changed. My friend and I both agree on this.

Where we differ is in our approach. He is solely focused on black people. Whereas I chip in with “you should be focused on all people”. He fervently buys into the idea of black and white. I’m saying that by accepting those labels you are indirectly making something insignificant the defining identity variable. The thing that people pigeon hole themselves by. This furthers discrimination. Imagine a world where someone tries labeling you and you say “nah man, I’m human”.

For me, labels are bullshit. I’m a Christian, I’m a Muslim, I’m black, I’m a lawyer. You are none of those things. You are a human being. You are a human who practices law. You are a human of African origin. You are a human who’s faith is Buddhism.

My point is if we stopped putting so much importance on defining our identity with physical and cultural labels, and more time educating youth to realise that we are all one. That we are all human. That as a brotherhood, we need to love each other. When those old labels we so passionately clung too, wouldn’t seem as important.

I think the reason a lot of prejudice remains towards African Americans (as an example) is because we only ever cut down the plant (the issue), for example we stopped slavery, then got equal rights in place, but we left the root of the plant in the ground. So new issues grow back each year. We need to remove the root of the problem. That to me is seeing everyone as separate. If we all celebrated our one common interest, humanity, we may start turning it all around. Coleman Barks said it best when interpreting Sufi poet Rumi “You couldn't possibly go to war, if the friend of the beloved was everyone”. What he meant was if you knew (which you do deep down in your gut) that we are all connected at some level and we all share the same human fate, you could never treat anyone bad. Because you would only be hurting yourself.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

-          John Lennon

If I help someone, it has nothing to do with their skin colour, their religion or their culture. It has everything to with humanity.

I guess my plea to you is: Please see the light that is in each person before you acknowledge other ‘real world’ factors.

A world with that perspective would remove racial and religious boundaries.

To your success,

Stu

The solution:

Regardless of what colour your skin, who your God is or your social status. Let's heed Martin Luther King's (Jesus') advice and love those that hate us, because they are just lost and sick individuals, desperately seeking home. Eventually with this strategy and saying "I'm human", we can get everyone on the same page. If someone really pushes you however, feel free to give them a slap (Disclaimer: At your own risk, absolute last resort, and your own free will).

P.S. Don't slap them. Walk away.

Give As You Live

Hey dawg,

I recently read the Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. So what?! I hear you say. Well I really didn't have high hopes for this little fable. But I finally gave in to reading it after one of my successful friends kept singing its praises (for years).

I won't go into the story too much as I wouldn't want to take the magic out of it, should you decide to read it. The fable is based around the 5 below core points.

The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success

  • The Law of Value - Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.
  • The Law of Compensation - Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
  • The Law of Influence - Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
  • The Law of Authenticity - The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
  • The Law of Receptivity - The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving

Go Giver Book

Since reading this book I have started to give more - of myself, of my time and of my love. Whether that's praising someone, congratulating them or offering help over and above what is expected of me. In the week or so since reading the Go Giver I have really seen a difference in the way people interact with me. I know giving more than I get and caring will reap dividends in my career but more importantly it feels good to be so helpful. It feels natural. Imagine if all business (and life) was conducted in this way.

Have you read the book?

To your success,

Stu

Walking Wales for Centre Point

I'm going to attempt one of my more adventurous goals in April. I want to walk the length of Wales. Starting in Cardiff and ending in Bangor, at the north of the country. The walk is 162 miles long. Don't feel too bad for me, as I do get to walk through the two nicest areas (arguably) in the UK: Breacon Beacons and Snowdonia. So I will aim to fit some waterfall diving and mountain climbing in. I aim to do it in 7 days, in fact I have to. It will be a race to catch my train from Bangor. My friend Duncan (SpiritPig.com) may be coming, however he is not definite so I'm fully ready to make the journey on my own. The other thing to add is that I will be sleeping wild each night without a tent.

Wales Map

I was planning on doing this trip for fun (Type 2 fun according to Alistair Humphreys), but I thought if I was going to put myself through it I might as well get some money for a great cause.

The beauty of this challenge is that it will also help me overcome my fear of being attacked in the dark, as part of my fear busting challenge.

The cause I have chosen is Centre Point. They provide housing and support of young homeless people here in the UK. I will be sleeping rough for 6 nights on this trip/challenge, but these unfortunate young people have to do it every night and in not so nice areas. This is something I would like to help alleviate, as much as I can.

I will make a video of my adventure and share it afterwards. I will also be tweeting throughout so you can keep up to date - follow me @StuartARalph.

If you feel compelled to support the charity and my walk, you can donate here - https://www.justgiving.com/walk-wales-2015

What's on your goal list?

To your success,

Stu

I will be writing an article each week, updating you on my progress and wacky adventure:

Walking Wales (For Centre Point) - Part 1

Jesus The Badass Philosopher: 10 Great Quotes

Jesus has been a great mentor of mine for many years. And no I am not a Christian or any religion. I am a human who thinks that another human (Jesus) had some bloody good points.

It bothered me that other religious people would dismiss Jesus because of their own beliefs, and atheists would dismiss him because they didn't want to be turned/converted. Never stopping to think, that religion aside, he said some pretty epic concepts.

I am writing this article to open you to Jesus, not as the son of God (I'll let you decide that) but as a philosopher. He should stand alongside the greats, Socrates, Marcus Aurelius and Aristotle, as the badass mofo he is.

Below are 10 great Jesus quotes (in no particular order), why I like them and why I think they need to be adopted by the world:

Caveat - below are my interpretations. I'm sure a vicar, preacher would read them differently.

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."

Arguably it's this quote that inspired Martin Luther King to be the great man he was. Having his home bombed twice and being persecuted daily for his skin colour, he kept the viewpoint that he must love everyone, especially those who didn't deserve it. What a guy. Now imagine if we all loved those that didn't deserve it. Imagine if we knew that those who are hurting us, were only doing it because they are hurting. And instead of telling them to fuck off, we showed them love, imagine what our world would look like?!

"So I say to you, Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you."

I've noticed that those who are the most successful be that in money, happiness, love or education, are the ones who have taken the action first. From that action they have seemingly been rewarded. The universe conspires to help those who are chasing their dream (The Alchemist). We must first knock, take action. Sitting back and expecting the world to land on your lap is a sure fire way to achieve nothing.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Similar to the first point. Love one another. Failure to do this has lead to separation, and an ego driven world. Imagine if each day you put love at the forefront of your mind, in everything you did. Why not try it now, for the rest of the day?!

"Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."

I love this one. It's one of my favourite quotes. What Jesus was implying in the book of Matthew is that focusing on tomorrow is pointless, when today is all you have. If you're going to worry, worry about today, because that is all you can control. By doing this you may just alleviate the problems that were coming 'tomorrow'.

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."

This one is powerful. I read this as, if you don't live your purpose it will slowly destroy your soul. If you do live your purpose you will be saved, you will be in love with life. What is your purpose? Bring it forth.

"Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone."

Sin is a contentious word outside of Christianity. I read this quote as "he who is without fault, can criticise". Far too many people offer advise where they have no experience. They criticise and judge a person without having any understanding of the path that person is walking. Offer advice when you know the situation, criticise when you can help. My point is in contradiction to the religious interpretation of this quote.

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same."

When someone is blowing smoke up our ass we love them. We find it easy to reciprocate attention. When someone doesn't show much interest in us or is a little rude, some of us find it hard to love them. I know I do. What I think Jesus meant here was love everyone, even those that quite frankly think we're douchebags. Remember, even 'sinners' love those that love them!

"I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."

I'm a firm believer that heaven and hell are on earth. That we create them everyday. For me, this quote means that we must focus on what will bring us peace and or happiness each day. To do this will bring heaven. If we focus on money for money's sake we will be miserable and fall short of heaven.

"For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?"

I find this one of the most poetic quotes. Similar to the above. We must never forget why we do something. We must never forget what truly excites us. Forgetting these things, may result in us doing something that is soul destroying.

"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and everyone who humbles himself will be exalted."

I don't think this is black and white. However, it is better to be humble than arrogant. Humble people are attractive, they draw people to them. I often feel compelled to help humble people, because I can sense they are good people. I find this hard, but I try to humble myself often. I find I am much happier when the ego is on holiday. I find I do things for the love not for a pat on the back. Humble yo ass.

Jesus Stutter

Image credit: WeKnowMemes.com

So those are some of my favourite Jesus quotes. I hope you can see that he made some great points, worth adopting. I hope one day Jesus can be taken seriously as a philosopher. Jesus I got your back.

Guys, what do think? Should Jesus be in the philosophy hall of fame? Or am I just wrong?!

To your success,

Stu

Caring Commercialism – I Dare You Not To Cry

Wow. I didn't know what to expect with this. The below video is of a farmer called Johnny Georges (great name) who was on Shark Tank trying to get investment in his product Tree-T-Pee.

The product's audience was farmers. He was only making a dollar per unit. The 'Sharks' were shocked he charged so little. They expressed that he could triple his price. Much to their surprise he refused because he cared about the farmers.

[wpdevart_youtube]https://youtu.be/hdllkmyg6Aw?t=3m6s[/wpdevart_youtube]

Needless to say all the Sharks were out. Except one; he loved Johnny's compassion and passion. Johnny got his investment. If only all capitalism was like this. Get enough for a sweet life, then give back. That is a capitalism that would work.

Get your Kleenex ready and watch the above...

To your success,

Stu

My -3 Degree Micro Adventure

Inspired by Alistair Humphrey's book Micro Adventures I wanted to try his 5to9 adventure.

What is a 5to9 adventure? It's purely and simply having an adventure when you leave work at 5pm until you have to start work again at 9am. It's Alistair's answer to people saying "I can't be an adventurer, I have a job".

Below is a write up of my adventure and what I Learned.

January 22nd 2015, was the day I would try something new. It was also my 28th birthday. I left work about 4pm with a massive backpack filled with warm clothes in preparation of the -3 degree temperatures coming that night.

I headed out the door with a spring in my step. Rushing through the London Underground beating off the other commuters at London Waterloo. I was finally one of those people with the giant bags that everyone hates in London. I have a bit more sympathy for them now (for a week at least). I jumped on the train heading south out of the city.

Sitting on the train decaf cappuccino in hand I watched the commuters getting off the train zipping up their coats. I felt a wash of calm and excitement flow through me as I was transported back to memories of me only the day before getting off the London underground ready to brace the cold, and rush my way home through the gaggle of commuters facing the same fate. However, today I was going on an adventure. A true sense of liberation.

I arrived in Haslemere, Surrey for around 5.30pm. I met up with my friend Eliot, and headed off to Tescos to buy some supplies and food. As we purchased our supplies the guy serving us in Tescos said "Have a good night". Eliot and I looked at each other, laughed, and said "we will". Both realising the insanity of what we were about to do.

As we entered the wild, with no one around for what seemed like miles we put on our head-torches to light our way through the winter darkness. As we walked through the errie woods, it dawned on me that only 2 hours ago I was in a rush, in one of the biggest cities in the world and now here, in silence, beauty and fresh air.

After about 20 minutes of walking we found a great location. Hidden from sight, surrounded by an epic view of the wilderness and surrounding towns we cracked open a couple beers. We then collected some dead wood to start a fire as it was bloody cold. Throughout the night we cooked, chatted for hours about many great things and appreciated the clear sky that allowed us to see the heavens.

We woke at 5.30 am. Damn that was cold. It was still dark, so awaking to the stars was amazing. We had no tent, just sleeping and bivvy bags. So we had a unspoilt view of the vastness of the universe. There's something very special about that.

We headed back to his to grab a shower (not together), then headed to the train station. As Eliot and I said goodbye in front of the train guard and passengers, he enthusiastically said "thanks for last night, it was great" - awkward!!! But equally as funny.

On the train it became clear to me that there was a difference between me and my fellow commuters. I had a buzz about me, a glow. I felt alive.

[wpdevart_youtube]http://youtu.be/7RvOpWFHbQk[/wpdevart_youtube]

Coming back into the office people thought I was weird, and yes I am. In the elevator, random workers from other floors overheard my conversation about Micro Adventures. As I stepped out of the lift, one lady shouted to me "Don't go I wanted to hear the end of that story". Funny situation, but also a sign that you don't need to be that adventurous to be interesting.

The biggest takeaway from this Micro Adventure is that just sitting by the fire, the stars and my good friend I was the most present and carefree I've been in a long time. I can't wait to do it again.

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

To your success,

Stu

Challenge Yourself eBook

Why Am I Dying To Live? When I’m Just Living To Die!

In Tupac and Biggie Smalls 2002 track Runnin' the chorus offers a very profound question/statement. Which is, "Why am I dying to live? When I'm just living to die!". Although, in 2002 (back in the day) I was certainly on no philosophical path, at least academically. That lyric still fascinated me, and I would pose myself that question often never expecting an answer. I've always been an optimist, and at worst, a realist. Pessimism seems pointless to me. Over the last year I went through a bout of depression for many reasons. I started to see life through nihilistic glasses. The main reason was that I was evolving. Not in a cool Pokemon way but in my soul's evolution, my purpose, my life's meaning. Depression is nasty, but it can also signal the death of an old you, making way for the next more upgraded version of yourself.

Any way. I was walking home with my friend Harv. We occasionally will go back and forth and debate various topics. For no reason other then we find it mentally stimulating. I posed the above lyric to her.

She paused and rightly came back with "You give it meaning". She triggered in my head a way of looking at it that I never have before. We are given a meaningless life. Wait. That isn't a sad statement, it's empowering. Look at it this way. You have been given this 'empty' life, for which you can do anything. God, the universe, the big bang has provided you with a blank canvas (Your life) and given you the paint brushes (Your mind/body) to paint a masterpiece.

If all artwork came ready made filled with meaning, life would truly be boring. Thankfully, we have been given a blank meaningless life, ready for us to paint it with meaning however we wish. What an amazing gift.

How will you paint your meaningless canvas? Will you leave the world with a work of art? Or are you going to leave your masterpiece half finished?

To your work of art, I hope to see it one day,

Stu

Why You Spend Your Money: The 3 Types Of Spending

We spend our hard earned money to buy things we like and do the things we want. But why? Because buying the things we want will give us joy, doing the things we want will add excitement, fun or adventure to our lives. Ultimately when we are spending our money we aren't actually buying that thing or experience. Nope. We are buying what that product or experience will give us: Freedom, Comfort, Excitement, Fun, Joy, Laughter etc.

Looking at your own recent purchases how long has the emotion lasted for? Does the product still give you the joy? In most of my product purchases I get little bits of excitement but then it just becomes another thing in my home. Except for my MacBook Air, that still excites me.

Try this next time you go to buy something or spend money. Ask yourself on a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being a lot):

  • How much good emotion/energy will this add to my life 1 day from now?
  • How much good emotion/energy will this add to my life 5 days from now?
  • How much good emotion/energy will this add to my life 50 days from now?

That may just persuade you to spend your money elsewhere. To spend it on something that you really desire, not that you've been conditioned to want through marketing.

So if spending (after paying our bills) is purely for the emotion then let's look at the 3 things you can do with your money.

  1. Buy products - often initial spikes of emotion, then it usually fades to nothing or even buyers remorse.
  2. Buy experiences - strong spikes of emotion, followed by enjoyment and some good memories. Which supply good emotions into the future.
  3. Give money away or buy something for someone - Strong spikes of emotion, followed by a constant good feeling for a while to come.

Time vs Emotion Spending Graph

More recently I have been spending on experiences and charity because I know that I get the most out of them. From a charity point of view we are hard wired for connection. So when we give, it's only natural for our brains to be flooded with good emotions.

Next time you go to spend money make sure you are spending it on the things that will flood your life with joy.

All the best,

Stu

1 2 3 4

Contact Me

Using the contact form to send me an email

Keep in touch or say hi

Please note: I only answer emails once a week, please be patient, I will respond in time.